July 1, 2021

Choosing Must over Should

Do you live in the land of should? It’s a hazy place, where nothing is clear except your obligations. You never feel quite settled about your next right action, as you are constantly directing your attention to the next need that presents itself.

It has not occurred to you that asking yourself what you want out of your life may not be selfish at all. Resentment is a constant friend, as you live with the sense of duty that has no room for your personhood. There is no language to articulate your deepest needs and desires. You are, ultimately, afraid to ask.

Asking means that you must answer- what are your musts? And the answer may be terrifying. Maybe certain relationships are no longer going to work. The ways you show up in the world, your work, and your role may have to shift. You might have to do some intense work that brings up raw and tender places in your heart. You will be forced to revisit the little girl you once were, and ask her who she is and what she is whispering to you now. Answering takes courage. And it is a process. But you can never escape the land of should and enter the land of must until you begin to ask the right questions.

It's time to thrive, mama.

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About The Author

Hilary Barnett

Hilary Barnett is the founder of The New Mystique where she believes every mother is extraordinary, and typically writes the words that she most needs to hear.

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