March 20, 2021

How to Be a Safe Space for Another Mom.


In the world of mommy wars, mom-shaming, and the endless competitiveness and comparison that consumes so much of the media conversation around motherhood, it is more important than ever that we remind each other that this is not the reality.

I have been blessed with a handful of very close mama friends. Some of them were my friends before I had children, and we waded into our new worlds together, walking through pregnancy, loss, birth, and raising our babies. Some of them I met once I became a mom, as I began to reach out for connection and support.

We have seen each other through so much- the highs and the lows. But most importantly, we are around for the everyday mundane things and we know that no matter what, we are safe with each other. We know that even though our choices and approaches may differ, we create a place where grace abounds, and we can be honest and feel supported.

This has been a lifeboat for me in my journey of mothering. Based on my personal experiences, I am listing some ways to be a safe space for another mom. I would love to hear the ways that you do the same.

1) Hold her babies.
2) Play with her kids.
3) Bring coffee.
4) Withhold offering your opinion, unless asked.
5) Respect her choices.
6) Recognize that she is mothering from a different place than you. Her story is not your story.
7) Remind her that she is doing a great job.
8) Ask her what she is struggling with right now.
9) Ask her what she is loving about her kids right now.
10) Listen with an open mind and heart.
11) Ask her how you can help.
12) Ask her about her dreams for the future.
13) Acknowledge her fears, anxieties, and struggles.
14) Withhold judgment and remember we are all doing the best we can with what we have.
15) Love her unconditionally.

It's time to thrive, mama.

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About The Author

Hilary Barnett

Hilary Barnett is the founder of The New Mystique where she believes every mother is extraordinary, and typically writes the words that she most needs to hear.

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